I finished spring semester in college. I fully enjoyed my love . I feel those two words more than anything. I can't wait until tomorrow where it is uncertain in which what I shall do because there aren't any more classes until June. This is unsettling in the few moments after the official ending of spring . But ever since the tryouts I have been so much more thankful and happy for my life. I didn't make the team but that was no matter. I guess you could call it a humbling experience.
I am setting back to my old (better) ways. Something in the air, the situations. I feel it. I have been medicated for so long that I forgot how to cope. And coping the natural way , growing, improving is much better than just feeling okay. I am calming down and standing up all at the same time in balance. There is improvement.
I keep replaying the day inside my head and I go to the moments before this one ; The dark is night blue and the otherworldly glow of city lights fly past us as we talk happily of many things, discuss seriousness and are just a unit, our love glows too. Nothing epic happened in this day but I sure did feel a lot closer than I ever had. I love him so much. Everything he is as my favorite person partner. I enjoy our time together. I enjoy our journeys. I enjoy our life together.
Speaking in colors, there is this warm golden sunlight surrounding the memories, warm and beautiful and happy. They feel like other ones I love, like I will always remember them. I hope so, because the past is a guideline for the future if I ever get lost in the present.
I feel completely content as far as happiness goes. It didn't even matter, that whole painful experience today. It just washes away with the happy smiles and understanding of a kind beautiful person who engulfs my memories.
I am healing; I am getting better.
This too makes me happy.
and then the word happy.
happy .
:)
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